“I like the morning. There’s so much hope in the morning. There’s so much potential, which is never realised by 8:30pm in the evening.”
- Chris Lowe
I had told myself I’d try to get to bed by 11. It’s 23:21. And I haven’t managed to do any Gujarati homework even though my lesson is at 11am tomorrow. Sundays tend to play out like this. The freedom of a whole day off. Followed by the pressure to move things forward with my creative life, both in being inspired by others and generating the ideas and inspiration for my own work. I did at least finally get some much longed for reading done (some articles in the New York Times, a few pages of a memoir and a smattering of poetry) and then planned out my upcoming photoshoot a bit more - mainly by choosing outfits and shoes. But also by dusting off my typewriter and seeing if it still works. (It does.)
I’m going to work with a new photographer for the shoot on Wednesday and I’m playing around with the look and purpose of the pictures I want to get. I want to indulge in my love for colour as well as have some B&W photos, and I’d like to represent my writing and my slightly Luddite inclinations. I made some notes on my phone a couple of weeks ago to try to clarify what I’m going after:
PHOTOSHOOT IDEAS - the desolation of society as it stands at the moment is the backdrop - it’s either chaotic, desolate/barren or soulless in some way and then, there in the frame somewhere is the artist. Contemplating how to fight back or posing with a freedom stretch that feels like a means of bringing strength and creativity to this bleak world. We see the alternative in her: flowing fabric and/or bright colours, beautiful shoes against concrete steps, this is her rebellion: creativity, fashion/dressing up and/or staring straight down the lens as if to say, ‘Record me. Take note. I am here and I will not let you break me.’
All in all, I think I’m trying to represent a kind of protest - putting colour and the careful consideration of a ‘look’ before being pulled down by the bland, neglected or inept surroundings. Keeping creative expression first and foremost before consuming someone else’s brand visuals and ethos, or attending to their business’s needs. A kind of visual statement of the struggle of time being taken up with work and travel even for mundane errands, all while trying to stay fit, healthy and strong in the midst of all of the implications of being a woman in your late 40s.